LOVE-SHIP
Maturity, in general, is many things. Maturity in a love relationship is everything! First it is the ability to base a decision about a love relationship on the big picture - the long haul. In general, it means being able to pass up the fun for the moment and select the course of action which will pay off later.
In a love relationship, it means being able to enjoy the instant gratification that comes with the romance of the moment while knowing the best is yet to be and being patient while you watch your love grow. It is knowing that by working together, the state of unconditional love will presence itself in the relationship and will mature with time. It is knowing that you grow into a love relationship. It doesn't happen all at once. Mature love partners seek new ways to help each other grow.
One of the characteristics of infancy is the "I want it now" approach. Grown-up people can wait. And often they don't. Often they allow themselves to slip back into infancy so they can justify rushing into things.
Maturity is the ability to stick with a project or a situation until it is finished. It means doing whatever it takes to make the relationship be one you are proud to be in. The adult who is constantly changing jobs, relationships, and friends, is in a word. . . immature. They cannot stick it out because they have not grown up. Everything seems to turn sour after a while.
Mature love partners have learned not to expect perfection in each other. They know that acceptance has its own reward. Each lover's differences test the other's capacity for acceptance, forgiveness and understanding. They never dance around issues. When necessary, they discuss their imperfections, lovingly, with care not to pass judgment with harmful words. Acceptance and tolerance hold hands in the presence of unconditional love.
Mature lovers -- lovers who love unconditionally -- develop a knack for side- stepping resentment and focusing on the good they see in one another. They have evolved to a higher level of understanding, one that transcends taking notice of the imperfections of the other.
Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness, frustration, discomfort and defeat without complaint or collapse. Mature love partners know they can't have everything their own way. They are able to defer to circumstances, to other people - and to time, when necessary.
Mature love partners permit each other the freedom to pursue their individual interests and friends without restriction. This is when trust presents itself. Mature love allows this level of separateness to bring lovers closer together. In this scenario separateness is perceived as a bond, not a wedge. It encourages love partners to celebrate their own uniqueness.
Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. Immature people spend their lives exploring endless possibilities and then do nothing. Action requires courage. There is no maturity without courage.
Maturity is the ability to harness your abilities and your energies and to do more than is expected in your relationships. The mature person refuses to settle for mediocrity. They would rather aim high and miss the mark than aim low and hit it.
FRIEND-SHIP
Who is a true friend and how does a friendship develop? Friendship clicks when we relate to one another's personality and there is recognition of bonding based on common likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits and passion. There is feeling of companionship and oneness. A friendship evolves overtime and then it slowly matures. A mature friendship is one where you know your friend inside out and accept him or her with all the contradictions and deviations that you earlier fail to notice. A mature friendship is a genuine friendship and here there is a shared sense of caring, concern, desire to grow and let grow and a hope that everything good happens in life to you as well as your buddy. True, mature and genuine friendship does not happen just like that. It needs working and it needs mutual faith and trust based on selfless action, shared thoughts and feelings, and acceptance of the friend without judgement and criticism.
True Friend: A true, mature and genuine friendship is based on relationship, trust, and accountability
A true, mature and genuine friendship needs a relationship which is built over time, by knowing each other more closely over shared time spent, shared memories, participation in each other's growth and prosperity as well as being available to each other in hard times.
Such a relationship built over time stands on the strong foundation of trust because you know that you have a friend whom you know as much as you know yourself. With trust you start sharing your inner most secrets and feelings with your friend who is true. Trust and its continuous reinforcement from both the side leads to faithfulness and loyalty. On the other hand betrayal of trust can lead to the culmination of the friendship in a very negative way with lot of hard feelings and loneliness. Many of the important reasons of loss of trust is backbiting, negative thoughts and cheating on one another.
There is a delicate balance that is required to have a true friend and friendship. To nurture this delicate balance the need is to have a set of accountability factors that becomes essential for the survival of the friendship. True friends accept the fact that this world is not perfect and they overcome small and little misunderstandings, deviations and contradictions that crop up among them. They have a policy of living the life positively and so forgiving one another is accepted as part of the natural code of friendship.
True and genuine friendship should come out of hard times more strongly. We need to undertand that genuine, mature and true friendship is supportive in nature and comes into real light in hard pressed times. These are the times when the true value, dependence and strength of a genuine friend are tested. A true friendship which passes the fire of troubled time develops into a bonding where unconditional love flows from one to another. Such true friends are hard to come by but once you have them most of the time they become your life time buddies.
The essential characteristics of a genuine friend and friendship
1. As mentioned before without trust and respect for each other no true friendship can develop.
2. Real and true friendship involves freedom of choice, accountability, truth, and forgiveness. There is acceptance of the person with all the good and bad that holds within a personality. There is an attitude of living the life positively and therefore forgetting and forgiving minor deviations and contradictions.
3. Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the "packaging." Genuine friendship loves for love's sake, not just for what it can get in return. This can happen only when the bonding of friendship has resulted from past experiences which where mutually beneficial and helpful in the most troubled times. This helps the relationship to evolve above the superficialities.
4. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt. As mentioned before, testing times come and the strength of a relationship is tested during these hard times. Once you overcome these testing times, the relation evolves into a higher plane where you can openly communicate the truth and even hard truths without the feeling of any animosity.
5. Genuine friendship, also called "agape" love, comes from the God. This is something of a life's bonding and is akin to our bonding with life or the higher powers of nature itself.
6. Relationships in real life involve different levels of friendships, and that's okay. But humans are designed by nature for lasting relationships. The idea is to always evolve and grow in friendship and try to reach the highest stage of a friendship.
7. True relationship and friendship transcends and overcomes the superficialities of vague empty relationships which are mostly exploitive and manipulative in nature.
8. Establishing a connect and order of accountability and responsibility is very important as it's harder to make amends with an offended friend.
9. When we've offended a "friend who is true" whether by breaking a trust or by speaking the truth with love, we risk losing that friendship. Here comes the need to understand that this life is anyway very short and brief and it's wise to forgive and forget and move on together if possible.
10. As mentioned previously the most essential aspect of a relationship is trust and if this is broken again and again then it can lead to the death of the friendship and relationship.
Thnx to YOU....:)
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